Ruthie Said So...

When I said I never won anything, well, you’d probably think I’m a big fat liar. Which is, slightly true. I mean, I won the race to survive in my mom’s womb anyway. Which is pretty cool. You did a great job too. *high 5* And I won several self competition against laziness like making myself wake up in the morning to go to school. What I won today is a degree and satisfaction. (After a hard work.) It wasn’t paid off with money or things that I can see or feel but yeah. I did won.
What I mean now by saying I never won anything is like if there’s a lucky draw, chances for me to win anything is like 0%. For real. Not even the consolation prize. Even when I join contests which give prizes to selected contestants, I will never be one of them. Survey questions given to random people who voluntarily answer them will win something? Oh. God knows I tried that. But not even close. Hahahaha. And a friend just won a concert ticket to see cool international artist and I envy that even when I’m not a big fan of that artist, (but still a fan,) and just because she won something that I really want to win. I have this passion for winning contest like super crazy passion. LOLOL
I guess I’m not that lucky when it comes to these kind of thing. Which kinda disappoint me. I really want to win something for once. Free tickets, free meal, free gifts, free airplane tickets, free weekend gateway, free shirts or anything! -_- I really wanna win something like that. Sound silly but at least once. I’d be happy. I just wonder if I should keep on trying or what? I shouldn’t give up right? Pleaseee I would love to win a 2PM meet and greet kind of thing contest. I’ll keep my eyes wide open for that. HAHAHAHA never give up eh?

Praise to Our Father in Heaven! I passed and even in dean’s list! :’)

I’m so thankful. I think i’ve made my parents proud. Most of all, MYSELF. I’ve proved to my own self that nothing is impossible if i work hard for it.

I’m so happy right now. Congratatulation to all my friends.!! We will be graduating soon with a degree!!!!!!

Job hunting mode it totally ON.

Exam result will be announced in less than 4hours from now. This is annoying. The feeling of having butterflies in the stomach. -_____- I’m keeping my fingers crossed so hard this time. That was my final semester!! I need to pass all subject to enable me to graduate in May. God. Be with me on this one. ( Actually, I know you’re always there for me. Well. All the time) I’m just saying.
But I’m feeling sleepy all of sudden. Damn. Am I too nervous or to relax? *facepalm*
Well. I’ll tell in a bit. Stay tune.

I’ve been living in this world for 27 years and 11 months. My journey so far has lead to nowhere. I have no job. No money. No husband. No car or a house. If I can turn back time, especially 10 years ago, I would try to fix every mistakes I’ve made. But time wait for no man. Right? Regret is an honest word. Truly I am. But there’s no point of saying it today.
Therefore, of all the time wasted, I believed I’ve struggled hard enough to do what I’m suppose to do even when I was left far behind.
It took a lot of strength to face everyone of course. People started to question me. “Why now?” Or even saying “it’s too late” or even harder enough to swallow: “you’re wasting time”. I got told over and over again. It turned me down. I’ve made some mistakes. Yes I did. Most of the time I just want to tell them to back off. My life is my life. I’ll get on with it no matter what, and it doesn’t concern anyone except my family.
And yes, I didn’t have the guts to explain to anyone. I’ve lost confidence. I’m avoiding almost everyone. Except certain people.
Yes. I want to have a good future. Yes. I want to have a job. At my age, who doesn’t? I will,someday,find something to do. Eventually. And make everyone happy.
I just wanna say that, Life is our personal journey. We have our own. A successful man might lose everything in one day. But doesn’t mean he can’t rise again. Right? Or a rich woman may fall head over heels for a beggar and got married. Who knows. But her life isn’t any of your business. It’s her journey. Her decision. Just to show you an example not to be too curious on how others live their life.
People make choices. Like which is the best road to travel. Honestly, I’ve picked the hard one. But I’ll find my way back and started to walk without worrying. Even when most of the time I stumbled. And cried. But to be frank,stopping won’t get me any where too.
God’s willing, I will make the best of my life and make it a more interesting journey once I found my starting ground.
If someone read this, don’t ever let people tell you that you can’t. No matter how late it is for you to start over, just don’t give up. It’s YOUR journey. No one can tell you on how to live your life except yourself.